


Idiosyncrasies

by Saraku



Series: Sharp Knife of a Short Life [5]
Category: One Piece
Genre: ASL BrosWeek 2016, Alternate Universe - Canon, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 03:44:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8085736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saraku/pseuds/Saraku
Summary: Three high-potential marines and their odd connections. Or, a brat is secretly a pirate captain, the brat is a liaison/unofficial member of the strongest crew in the world, and the other brat is feeding information to a revolutionary group. All in a day's work.





	

“… Hello?”

_“Sabo?”_

The man blinked. “Ace? What is it?”

_“Have you heard from Luffy?”_

“Nope,” Sabo responded, his attention being caught by the sudden blast of smoke in the distance. He squinted. “Why?”

_“He was suppose to report his status half-an-hour ago.”_

Sabo went silent, his mouth twitching upwards slightly. “… Well then. I guess you have a problem on your hands now, do you?”

 _“What do you mean,_ my _hands? This is on you, too!”_ Sabo choked back laughter as he recognized the seething sound Ace was making from the Den-Den Mushi.

“Sorry, Ace! I think my snail’s getting tired. See you at base!” Sabo distanced the snail from him periodically to fake the sound of broken communication. “Ah, no, but seriously, I have some errands to do.”

 _“… Ah, right. Your errands.”_ Ace responded, tone much lighter and slightly teasing. _“Well. Since you love doing them so_ much _, let me see if I can get someone to assign you more.”_

“You suck, you know that?” Sabo replied, eye twitching in (very) mild irritation. “The absolute worst.’

_“Jiji will always be the worst. I have to go see if I can get into contact with Lu – speaking of Lu…”_

“Luck is in your favour today, brother,” Sabo teased, one eye closed as he split his focus on the sound of Ace’s voice and the sudden appearance of black smoke in the distance. “Gotta go.”

 _“Enjoy, you asshole._ ”

 

~~*~~*~~

 

“- and then we ran into the forest and we could hear everyone so angry and Ace just laughed, and – and Sabo just told us that we could do it again after a bit!”

“But doesn’t your grandfather get angry when you do those things, Luffy?”

The Captain nodded. “Yeah, he does! He always beats us up and says that marines don’t do that but we still do them! Shihihihi, it’s always fun!”

“Wha – Luffy! What about your wounds?” Chopper looked at him, clearly worried about the injuries Luffy would end up sustaining from Garp the Marine Hero.

“Chopper’s right, captain. You should be more careful,” Zoro stated, lazily slumping on his lawn chair as the Thousand Sunny slowly came to a stop. “What if he hits too hard one day?”

Luffy insistently shook his head. “Nah, Jiji’s always been hitting us hard! The three of us are used to it!” Luffy said, bouncing on his heel excitedly. “Ah, the island! I gotta go greet Smokey!”

“… Smokey?”

“Ah, it’s the Commodore here in Loguetown,” Nami stated dismissively, “According to Luffy, he’s been given promotions lots of times but Smoker keeps refusing. Something about ‘not wanting it’ or whatever.” Her eyes narrowed and they gleamed; anyone who’s been within the navigator’s vicinity knew what she was thinking of. “He better bring me some beli.”

“Ah, I’m sure the captain will get you anything you want, Nami-swan~” Sanji said, fawning over Nami as he fanned her while bringing her a stool for her feet to rest on. “Luffy _is_ at a higher rank at him, seeing that he’s apparently about to be offered promotion.”

 

~~*~~*~~

 

Ace slumped down in his chair and sighed.

He rubbed a hand alongside his face, rubbing his eye as another sudden wave of drowsiness hit him. Grumbling, he stood up and walked the corridors to his cabin. The ship was _blissfully_ empty, with all the others on the island. Ace didn’t make it his business to know what they were doing in fine detail, but he drilled them enough to be the decent types.

“Unlike those assholes before,” Ace added, drowsiness at a full time high. “… I’m… Fuck, I’m not making it to my room…”

He hissed when the ship violently rocked, nearly tipping over. Ace reacted instinctively and grabbed the nearest the door handle, a surge of relief thundering through him when the ship eventually fixed its position back upright. Then, _shouting_.

Ace didn’t know if the shouting was a by-product of his migraine’s second stage (it was a _bitch_ ) or if his mind was acting up and re-activating his ‘defence’ for loneliness – or, more precisely, the lack of being surrounded by people he cared about. He could distinctly hear Sabo’s voice scolding him and telling him to _stop practicing so much_ and Luffy’s insistence on him eating more.

Ace collapsed on the floor, briefly blacking out. He carefully stood up to not irritate his head anymore than it already was. Then, there was a loud _thud_ on deck, and Ace didn’t know whether to sigh in relief or weariness when he recognized the footsteps approaching. He put his hand on the wall in an attempt to steady himself when the footsteps become lighter and softer; Ace cursed, ad let unconsciousness take him away.

 

~~*~~*~~

 

“Was knocking me unconscious really necessary?”

Sabo was nursing a bruise on the side of head, a light glare directed towards his companions. The female giggled.

“Sorry, Sabo. Rules are rules.”

“And I’m not exempt to them?” He whined.

“No,” the fishman said. “You may be an ally and close friend, but you are not a member of the Revolutionary. Regardless, we offer you apologies.”

“You’ve offered me three apologies already, Hack,” Sabo grumbled, his lip twitching upwards in a slight smirk. “Also. Give me back my pipe.”

“Ah, no can do,” Koala stated, shaking her head. “We’re doing some adjustments to it.”

Sabo’s eye twitched. “I’m going to need that back when I leave, you know?”

“According to Dragon-san,” began Hack, “you told him that the next time you’d visit, you would stay for three days. So, we have prepared a semi-schedule for those three days.”

Koala nodded enthusiastically alongside Hack’s words. “Yup! In those three days, we can maximize the fun!”

“ _Fun?_ Really? Unless your definition of ‘fun’ has changed since the last time I visited, it normally doesn’t mean _getting whacked in the head with double hits of fishman karate._ ”

“Don’t be a stick in the mud, Sabo.”

 

~~*~~*~~

 

“SMOKEY!”

Luffy leaped onto the Commodore’s back, wrapping his rubber arms around the smoke logia. ‘Smokey’ bit his cigars, untwisted Luffy’s grasp and smashed the rubber man into the ground. “Don’t do that, kid.”

“’m not a kid!” Luffy said, pouting.

“Yes, you are,” Smoker replied, spitting his broken cigar onto the ground; he looked around, as if looking for someone. “What are you doing here? Weren’t you assigned to Water 7?”

“Shihihihihi! I am, but I got bored so I found one of my friends over there and I invited him to come with me so here we are!” Luffy explained, moving erratically around Smoker’s general area. “Why are you jus’ standing here?”

“Brat,” Smoker muttered, lighting two new cigars. “TASHIGI! GET OVER HERE!”

“Ooh, Tashigi!” Luffy exclaimed happily. “Zoro told me all about her!”

“Zoro? The ‘Pirate Hunter’ Zoro? The _pirate?_ ”

“Uh-huh!” Luffy nodded. “Oh. I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”

“What else are you not telling us!? How the hell did you get into contact with a pirate, much less the Pirate Hunter!?”

“T-The Pirate Hunter?” Someone gasped, and they both turned to see Tashigi there, looking surprised, which soon turned into hardened determination. “He’s – he’s here?”

“Well –“

“CURLY BROW!”

“YOU DAMNED MARIMO!”

Tashigi and Smoker’s eyes widened; the latter grabbed onto Luffy’s opened uniform and brought him close to his face. “Why didn’t you report this earlier!?”

“Eh? I’m a captain!”

 

~~*~~*~~

 

“You awake yet, brat?”

He grumbled as he prodded around and felt the pillow underneath his head; then, he took the pillow and shoved it over his head.

“Oi.” The voice was muffled now, but it didn’t stop the voice from reaching his ears. “I was talking to you. I’m _still_ talking to you. And we didn’t bring you here only to suffocate, especially under my watch.” Something shuffled over, closer to him. "We even treated your migraine."

“Screw off, Marco,” Ace mumbled; while Ace was smothered between blankets, a pillow and comforter, his voice was surprisingly clear. The pillow was pulled from his head and he pushed his arms down to raise his chest slightly, glaring at the Phoenix. “Explain to me why I always end up being kidnapped by you lot?”

“It causes you and I problems whenever a _marine_ enters a _pirate_ ship, especially the _Moby Dick._ You know, the ship of the Whitebeard Pirates?”

“… So, you wanted to make new recruits think this is how you do it and then let me confuse them from here?”

“Exactly, yoi. Also, Oyaji wanted confirmation on something, and with a little torture you’re always willing to give up information.”

Ace gave him a droll look. “Define.”

“New recruits, _Rear-Admiral_. Why would we feed a prisoner more food than necessary?”

 

~~*~~*~~

 

“Those _damned BRATS!”_

Sengoku sighed as Garp munched an entire packet of crackers, still sealed in plastic. The Fleet Admiral put his hands to his face, exasperated with Garp’s antics, Garp’s grandsons – Garp in general.

“The first thing the brat does is when he’s promoted to Rear-Admiral is _visit the Whitebeard Pirates!?_ Then the other brat disappears off the face of the seas for _three days straight_ and then my brat goes on adventures the moment I tell him to behave because he’s going to be promoted!” Garp snarls, stuffing more sealed packs of crackers into his mouth. Sengoku always wondered where does things went.

“Garp,” the Fleet Admiral began irritably, “it was _your_ idea to make them into Marines, and while I truly appreciate the manpower its given us, has it occurred to you that they’re causing more chaos!?”

The Vice Admiral’s demeanor changed _instantly_. “My grandsons are idiots, but they make damn good marines!” He half shouted, bits of crackers being spitted out as he spoke. Sengoku grimaced and leaned deeper into his chair, doing his best to avoid chewed cracker bits. “If you just let me personally train them, they’d already be Admirals!”

“Garp, they are _nineteen and sixteen_. The way they are rising to the ranks is impressive, yes, but it doesn’t change the fact that _your_ training in childhood caused them to be inanely destructive and chaotic!” Sengoku retorted back, slapping down three papers onto his desk for Garp to peer at. “These right here are personal complaints from some of the marines under their care. Read them!”

“They’re _brats_ , Senny! _My_ brats! I’m proud of ‘em!”

“ _Control your damn brats!”_

**Author's Note:**

> Will I do one for Day 2/Bonds and Nakama? One day.  
> When? _I don't know._
> 
> My brat = Luffy; the brat = Ace; other brat = Sabo.


End file.
